The Show Must Go On!

April 9th 2021 This past week started off incredibly awful. Sunday night leading into Monday morning I was up every 45 to 60 minutes in pain all over. The abdominal pain continued with increased intensity feeling worse than the diverticulitis flair a couple weeks back; and the hot flashes continued, however I continue to findContinue reading “The Show Must Go On!”

It’s Tamoxifen Time!

April 4th 2021 Every night at 8 pm my iPhone lights up with an alarm letting me know it is time to take my “selective estrogen receptor modulator” pill (a.k.a. SERM). It reminds me of my earlier days of working in AIDS and clients having to take their AZT, which was the shorthand for “azidothymidine”…inContinue reading “It’s Tamoxifen Time!”

Radiation, the unwanted gift that keeps on giving!

March 29th 2021 Last week was hell. Seriously, physical and emotional hell. Both my radiation oncologist and my occupational therapist reminded me that the one to two weeks after the last radiation treatment to expect increase in symptoms related to the body processing the treatment regimen. And they were not kidding! The cumulative impact onContinue reading “Radiation, the unwanted gift that keeps on giving!”

For Whom The Bell Tolls Alone…

March 19th 2021 Today was my last day of radiation treatment. The last day is to be a day of celebration. Two years ago my step-mom was diagnosed and treated for breast cancer. I remember her sharing the picture of her ringing the bell of celebration with members of her team clapping. I went intoContinue reading “For Whom The Bell Tolls Alone…”

Yup, that just happened.

March 18th 2021 So… I woke up on Sunday feeling pretty good. The day was set to be beautiful; and my little brother was coming over for us to spend time together in the garden. I have been mentoring this awesome kiddo since 6th grade when he came out as queer. [Hard to believe heContinue reading “Yup, that just happened.”

Something shifted…

March 13th 2021 The pain started the evening of Sunday, March 7th and steadily grew over the next 24 hours. I was having a diverticulitis flair up post-severe polyvagal fight/flight response during the first half of radiation treatment. I hadn’t had a flair up in seven years because I had done a lot of workContinue reading “Something shifted…”

The Table vs My Body

March 6 2021 This Saturday is already so much better then last Saturday. I can think about the radiation table…or not…I am feeling more in “control” of my feelings and my thoughts. Last Saturday I woke up struggling emotionally to “not” think about radiation because the moment I thought about The Table I would beginContinue reading “The Table vs My Body”

The Cancer Coaster Ride

January 24th 2021 I love roller coasters! I mean…LOVE THEM! I would go to amusement parks and stand in line for 2 hours for an “about a minute” ride, which is crazy if you think about it… The last time I rode coasters (at approximately age 47…a few months before the day I got T-bonedContinue reading “The Cancer Coaster Ride”

Stages of Grief Aren’t Linear

January 17th 2021 On January 13th, after the zoom meeting ended with the good doctor talking with me about my upcoming radiation therapy, I found myself feeling angry… #FuckCancer! I looked at my wife and said, “I am angry; and I am okay being angry today. I do not want to do this and IContinue reading “Stages of Grief Aren’t Linear”

The Cancer goes to Cali.

January 9th 2021 When I learned the tumor, now successfully excised from my body gets an all expense paid trip to California, while I hunker down in Delaware due to continued COVID quarantine precautions, I thought to myself… “Really, I am grounded and the cancer gets to fly! This is so no fair! I amContinue reading “The Cancer goes to Cali.”

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